2

Destroyed

Sigh, it’s that moment again…

That moment when you’re getting somewhere…

When you notice that your legs are noticeably thinner and more muscular.

When you notice that your stomach is flatter.

When you notice that your face is smaller

When you notice that your neck fat isn’t bulging

When you notice that your arms are thinner…

 

And then all Hell breaks loose and you let yourself go and you undo all that hard work that you did. And I’m talking all hell broke loose.

Now, sure people may think “come on, you can’t destroy all that hard work from one meal….from one day?”

How about from a weekend where I didn’t do Insanity both days (sigh i know) and was a couch potato basically and the second day ate whatever I wanted to my heart’s content.

And then it happens. Where you ate so much that even though you don’t feel disgusting (indigestion or what not) but you feel disgusted in your mind and soul

because you feel so ashamed that you couldn’t be stronger….That you let yourself listen to your emotions rather than your logic. And now, I can visibly see that my legs, stomach, face, neck, and arms are back to how they normally were. You might be thinking this is such an over exaggeration, that there’s absolutely no way. Unfortunately, it’s true. Not just my eyes. But it’s true.

And tomorrow I’m going to Orlando, Florida – Disney World and Universal Studios (Harry Potter World) and here I am getting fat all over again before my flight….

What is wrong with me?  I can’t seem to focus or get anything done. I can’t seem to force myself to finish a work out even though I justified all this by saying that I would. I can’t seem to fall asleep lately either…my sleep schedule is all messed up…

Maybe I should have gone home for Thanksgiving break. Or we should have left earlier….Shoulda woulda coulda…

I know that I shouldn’t beat myself up over this, and yet I can’t seem to forgive myself.

I realized that I definitely cannot live alone or be alone for so long…

People say that they stay still and don’t get hungry then. I get hungry when I am still…like what?

0

Insanity-1 Month

1 Month of Insanity officially done; however, I see little results 😦 I just got muscle and my legs thinned out, but my face is still chubby and so is my neck sigh…so my roommate was like “hmm i don’t see much difference.” Cries* Losing motivation, but still going to do work and I guess try to lessen how much dried fruit I eat.

Video
0

Singing the National Anthem

I sang the National Anthem at my school’s Ice Hockey game yesterday unaccompanied 🙂

Unfortunately, my throat was hurting (think the roomie passed on her cold to me….) and as an Alto, I wasn’t too sure about my range; however, it went really well!

Finally, a high school dream that I had has been achieved 🙂 As, I’ve always been a violinist in high school, I didn’t really get the chance that the choir students always got.

Enjoy~ and Please let me know what you think! 😀

0

Miracle Noodles

miracles noodles miracle noodles2

So, I have mentioned Shirataki Noodles before and how I eat with those. I also have eaten with Tofu Noodles which were super yummy and easy to use.

Recently, I bought Miracle Noodles and hope to try those out. I know already that I’ll be satisfied although I don’t know the versatility of these. For example, the tofu noodles, I could just drain, rinse, and microwave and enjoy after seasoning. With these, the instructions say to boil, so I’m not sure. Although, it’s better that it isn’t “instant” food for me since I tend to eat too fast and too much then.

For some reason the 2nd pic is upside down even though the original isn’t….Sorry about that.

 

0

My new snacking obsession – healthy alternative

So, lately I’ve been obsessed with a website called nuts.com. I’m normally not one that likes dried fruit, but I guess I sort of converted after ordering from them…It started with my curiosity of dried kiwi slices and dried figs. Now, I order and eat their dried fruit that does not have any added sugar. It is just the fruit itself dried. No other preservatives, etc. I admit that I eat too much to the point of it being a sign to my weight loss goal hehe 😛

I was also obsessed with their Veggie Chips, Fruit Chips, and mushroom chips; however, I realized that as those are fried, it’d be best to not eat those. yes, they are a healthier alternative to chips and cookies, but I ended up eating too much of those as well which made me not feel so good later. So, now I order just their dried fruit, chia seeds, cinnamon, and goji cacao energy squares. I don’t think I should order their energy squares anymore because those are dang addicting as well. In fact, I’m writing this post so that I don’t eat anymore! Only thing that bothers me is the shipping fee :/ (I guess I’m too used to free shipping as an Amazon Prime member) but their shipping is super fast which makes up for it.

Disclaimer: Not promoting them or in any affiliation with nuts.com

0

Insanity & Life Update

So I start Week 4 of Insanity 60-day challenge tomorrow and I was doing so great! I had lost 5 lbs and was feeling great, eating healthy, etc. and then suddenly one day I just lost it. I guess I didn’t eat as healthily as before or maybe it’s because I’ve been consuming more dried fruit (which doesn’t have added sugar mind you) but the next day I was up a few lbs! I found that so weird…it must be water weight I thought. However, I didn’t drink as much water as I did before…

And today, I just totally undid it by eating too much in 1 meal and then ending up eating a lot again in the other. I can’t believe I started binge-eating again! I have been snacking on dried fruit lately (weird because I used to not even like it). I know what I’m doing wrong though. I need to eat smaller, more frequent meals. I need to cut down on eating those dried fruits…moderation is key.

I need to snap out of this slump. I’ve been feeling really down and low in my self-esteem. I have been letting loose again. I can’t lose sight of my goal! I was doing so well and was feeling so great! I can’t believe that I’m letting all that hard work go to waste! I honestly don’t know how to go back though. I feel like I’m stuck as everything is piling up. I don’t want to starve obviously because that isn’t the way to go, but I feel disgusting right now as well. I will continue with the Insanity 60 day challenge though and try to eat cleaner and drink more water starting now.

Week 4 tomorrow huh? I can’t believe that I’m lasting this long and that I’m sticking with it! I hope that I really do reach that Insanity worthy body soon. I hope that I can stick with this and focus. I pray that I continue to not let myself down and not to feel so down anymore.

Best of luck to me! And I will update for sure after week 4 for a complete 1 month update.

Yes, this is the first time that I’m mentioning Insanity on my blog, but that’s because I wanted to make sure that I’m sticking with it before I write about it. I will try to do weekly updates now so that I can keep myself on track. Because I can feel my motivation faltering…